Bucket Bros.

Bucket Bros: The Carpenters of Comedy


Curse of the White Wolf: The Troubled History of World of Darkness Videogames

Videogames based on White Wolf's World of Darkness universe have a way of... going horribly wrong. Whether it's Vampire: The Masquerade or Werewolf: the Apocalypse, White Wolf videogames are either canceled, released as a buggy mess, or drive the gamemakers themselves out of business.

Continue reading →

Star Trek Nemesis - Movies so Bad, they HAD to Reboot the Series

After Phantom Menace hit, Trekkies was eager to show George Lucas how it was really done. And, credit where credit is due, they did one-up George Lucas. Because nobody kills a franchise like Paramount.

Continue reading →

So Much Left to PS3lay

Let's say you don't want a PC, or already have one, and want a console anyway. Which to buy? Well, jeez, it's right up there in big bold letters. Buy a PlayStation, son!

Continue reading →

My Next Console is a PC

Sony? Microsoft? A Jedi knows not of these things. A Jedi just buys a damn PC instead.

Continue reading →

Politics Corner With Mars #004

The 4th episode in a series of political articles by the Bucket Bros's very own Mars.

Continue reading →

Top 5 Comedies With "Boy" in the Title

The internet needs more lists, and by God, we're pretty sure we've got one no one else has thought of.

Continue reading →

Politics Corner With Mars #003

The third episode in a series of political articles by the Bucket Bros's very own Mars.

Continue reading →

Wow! Office Vampires

Fiction | By Mars | 2013-07-29

In Mars' latest story, you'll learn why some things are even worse than a TPS report.

Continue reading →

Robots: We're Not Just Your Masters, We're Your Friends

Fiction | By Mars | 2013-07-14

Ever since the dawn of time humankind has used tools to lighten their load. from the club, to the fire pit, to the invention of the wheel. All these tools have reduced the number of useful human beings. Think of how many hunter gatherers it would take to replace an agricultural societies food supply, why it would be two to one!

Continue reading →

Welcome, Redditors!

You love bacon? We've got pigs.

You love narwhals? We've... got a little yellow elephant with anger issues. But we've also got tons of other stuff!

Here's a few articles to keep you entertained.

Okay, thanks for dropping by, I love you.

Politics Corner With Mars #002

The second episode of a new series of political articles by the Bucket Bros.'s very own Mars.

Continue reading →

Episode 042 - The Amazing Spider-Man, Rock of Ages & Total Recall

Published: 2013-01-12

Episode 042 - The Amazing Spider-Man, Rock of Ages and Total Recall

Download MP3 Podcast (right-click link and save as).

This epic 1.5 hour podcast took two weeks to record and twelve years to publish, or at least that's what it felt like. THRILL as we rave over the Spider-Man reboot. CHILL with Tom Cruise backstage. And THRILL SOME MORE at the Total Recall remake.

Listen to past episodes of Bucket Bros Bodyslam

Hog Madoon - Episode Seven

Blast Off! Hog Mandoon and Co. boldly go. There is a power struggle. Who will be Captain? What is Bogus? Tune in and find out!

Download Hog Mandoon - Episode Seven (right-click and save MP3) or if you're feeling adventurous, catch up on old episodes.

Politics Corner With Mars #001

The first episode in a new series of political articles by the Bucket Bros.'s very own Mars.

Continue reading →

Halloween: Resurrection - Movies so Bad, they HAD to Reboot the Series

Plot twists can make or break a movie. Halloween: Resurrection opens with twist so stupid, it broke the franchsie.

Continue reading →

Length: The Ultimate RPG Element

There are many genres of RPGs. JRPGs, like final fantasy. ARPGs, like might and magic. Turn based, like final fantasy one. Active time battle, like final fantasy four. Real time with pause, like baldur's gate. MMO, like everquest. Tactical, like final fantasy tactics. Action, like elder scrolls.

Continue reading →

Episode 041 - The Lorax, The Avengers & Dark Shadows

Published: 2012-08-16

Episode 041 - The Lorax, The Avengers & Dark Shadows

Download MP3 Podcast (right-click link and save as).

Zeus tenatively predicts they'll recommend all three, but he's dead wrong! The Bros. immediately yawn rudely at The Lorax. Assemble The Avengers! Zeus subjects everyone to his the Tim Burton Curse story -- again -- and Mars calls Scarlett Johannsen flat-chested. You might as well just skip to 32:20, when they review Dark Shadows, a film no one seemed to like, but the Bros. thought was like a new Mars Attacks, only fangier.

More episodes of Bucket Bros Bodyslam.

Twilight 2012 Campaign

By Mars | 2012-08-01

Mars takes a humorous look at the 2012 Presidential Campaign, drawing comparisons to the Twilight films to make you laugh.

Read Twilight 2012 Campaign

Bands I Like That I Used to Hate

Published: 2012-07-17

Coldplay

The bands Mars listens to, he used to hate. I think it's because has grown as a person. Not literally, I mean, that's definitely the sort of thing we'd let you know about. If Mars grew fifty feet tall, I'd be right here, updating the website. So you don't have to worry that every shadow from a passing cloud is really Mars' giant foot, crashing to the ground like a boulder. On second thought, forget that "grown as a person" business. Maybe he just changed his mind, and there's nothing wrong with that. Also, forget the "Mars isn't fifty feet tall" thing while I'm at it. He just crashed into some power lines and went all Amazing Colossal Man on me. RUN!

Bucket Bros. Bodyslam Podcast Episode #040 - John Carter & The Cabin in the Woods

Published: 2012-07-01

John Carter & The Cabin in the Woods
Warning: NSFW! Strong language.

Download MP3 Podcast (right-click link and save as).

John Carter is one of those movies where you start out trying to defend it and after 40 minutes realize you still came off fairly negative. But what of The Cabin in the Woods? Is it the new Within the Woods or the new Cabin Fever? Tune in and find out!

Listen to past episodes of Bucket Bros Bodyslam

Bucket Bros. Bodyslam Podcast Episode #039 - The Big Year & Cowboys and Aliens

Published: 2012-06-07 | Recorded: 2012-04-02

The Big Year & Cowboys and Aliens
Warning: NSFW! Strong language.

Download MP3 Podcast (right-click link and save as).

Zeus here. This is one of my favorite podcasts. Maybe it's because we get to goof around, or maybe it's the weird subject matter. Whatever the case, grab your binoculars -- and your tin foil cowboy hat -- 'cause we're about to combine bird watching, cowboys versus and aliens.

Listen to past episodes of Bucket Bros Bodyslam

Bucket Bros. Bodyslam Podcast Episode #038 - Chronicle & Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace 3D

Published: 2012-05-24 | Recorded: 2012-03-12

Chronicle & Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace 3D
Warning: NSFW! Strong language.

Download MP3 Podcast (right-click link and save as).

It's another Double Slam! This time we cover Chronicle and Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace 3D. An awesome remake of Akira directed by Jar Jar Binks.

Listen to past episodes of Bucket Bros Bodyslam

Bucket Bros. Bodyslam Podcast Episode #037 - Underworld: Awakening

Published: 2012-05-08 | Recorded: Sometime in 2011

Underworld: Awakening

Warning: NSFW! Strong language.

Download MP3 Podcast (right-click link and save as).

While we recorded this bodyslam shortly after Underworld: Awakening vanished from theaters, we published it the day Awakening was released on DVD. Clever girl! This isn't so much a reboot as the dawn of a brave new trilogy, a dawn best watched from the shadows, least Kate Beckinsale turn to powdered ashes. In other words, if you've been holding out and haven't seen an Underworld film yet, this is a pretty good time to start.

I'm now encoding the Bodyslams using iTunes, because I did a bit of research and it's supposed to handle low, constant bitrates better than LAME. Let me know how it sounds.

P.S. Kudos for having particles.

Listen to past episodes of Bucket Bros Bodyslam

Bucket Bros. Bodyslam Podcast Episode #036 - Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked

Published: 2012-04-20 | Recorded: Sometime in 2011

Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked

[NSFW (language)] Download MP3 Podcast (right-click link and save as).

Alvin and the Chipmunks attempt something closer to the classic 80s animated film than ever before! We liked it a lot better than the middle child of the Chipmunks franchise. But did we like it best of all? TUNE IN AND FIND OUT. >:(

P.S. Don't do anything we say in the podcast, except watch Chipwrecked. Especially if it involves going to a theater and doing something bad. Is joke! We kid!

Click here to listen to past episodes of the Bucket Bros Bodyslam

Bucket Bros. Bodyslam Podcast Episode #035: Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

Published: 2012-04-04 | Recorded: Sometime in 2011

Bodyslam Podcast Episode #035: Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

[NSFW] Download MP3 Podcast (right-click link and save as).

We're back! This was a recorded back in 2011, but don't let that stop you. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows is out on DVD on June 12th. Should you watch it? LISTEN AND FIND OUT! (Forgive the crappy laptop microphone quality, things improve in coming episodes.)

P.S. Nerd Alert: I changed the somewhat confusing naming scheme from bbbodyslam_[date] to bodyslam_###, where ### is the episode number, because it was always confusing when an episode -- let's say this one -- was recorded in 2011, but the filename says 2012. Or whatever. This is how podcasts should be named! Deal!

Click here to listen to past episodes of the Bucket Bros Bodyslam

MarSilF magazine Issue one who is Silf from the song My Goddess Silf?

By Mars | 2011-06-04

MarSilF magazine Issue one who is Silf from the song My Goddess Silf?

Click here to read the article.

Rabbis in RPGs

By Mars | 2011-03-19

Rabbis in Videogames

RPGs have Priests and other religious character classes, but Mars can't think of a single RPG with a Rabbi.

Click here to read the article.

5 Things Zombie Movies Stole from Night of the Living Dead

Zombie Title

By The Zeus | 2011-03-08

Every gimmick designed to set zombies apart from Romero's can be traced back to the original Night of the Living Dead.

Click here to read the full article.

Hog Mandoon Season Two! Episode Six!

Hog Mandoon

By The Shorties | 2011-02-24

Season two of the fantasy adventure radio play, featuring Mr. Pig, Ebenezer Crunch, Dogman and introducing Yellowphant.

In a scenario all too familiar to those familiar with The Last Unicorn -- though not familiar enough to get us sued -- Hog Mandoon sets out to help Yellowphant, the last of his kind, unravel the mystery of what happened to his baggy bretheren. Along the way they bump into Crunchy Fortuna, some kind of hunchback Dogman, and a special guest star from all your favorite harlequin romance covers.

Right-click and save Episode Six MP3

Or catch up on past episodes of the Hog Mandoon Radio Play Drama Half Hour Adventure in Farawayland to Northyways and Other Stuff.

Bloody Good Time Game Guide

Bloody Good Time guide

by Zeus | 2011-01-17

If Doom was a game of gladiatorial combat, and Team Fortress 2 is a sports game with balls replaced with bullets, then Bloody Good Time is a snuff film whose cast is made up entirely of serial killers. Zeus gives you Secret Weapons and Tactics, hot tips and cool cheats. Okay, maybe not cheats.

Click here to read the Bloody Good Time Guide

Terminal Invasion (2002) Movie Review

Terminal Invasion title screen

By Zeus | 2011-01-13

The first Bruce Campbell Sci-Fi Channel movie of the week. Passengers in a snowed-in airport realize that aliens walk among them, and it's up to The Chin to save the day.

Click here to read the Terminal Invasion review.

Arc Rise Fantasia is the Best RPG Since Arc the Lad: Twilight of The Spirits

By Mars | 2011-01-07

Arc Rise Fantasia for the Wii is old school without being boring, second rate, portable or budget friendly. In other words no apologies are offered for the fact that this is a turn based JRPG released for a major home console in 2010, and that's what makes it rock like 1994.

Click to read Arc Rise Fantasia is the Best RPG Since Arc the Lad: Twilight of The Spirits

Hey, watch it: Human Target

By Zeus | 2011-01-07

Human Target

Welcome to the first in a series of main-page updates covering the TV shows I've been watching. These could easily wind up as Bodyslams, but for now, it's just me boring you to tears with old-guy rambles about the magic picture box.

Human Target is an action/adventure program about the insanely capable Christopher Chance (Mark Valley). This man can literally handle anything. He'll whip up MacGyver gizmos in a pinch or crash land jets while sitting next to the shamed commercial pilot. He's a hand-to-hand combat master, an ace shot, a tactical genius, and he can charm his way into any situation. One time, Christopher Chance had to infiltrate a mixed-martial arts organization. Not only was he immediately hired, he joined a tournament and won. In other words, he applied himself to MMA for a week and not only didn't he get his spine cracked, he managed to defeat all the mean nasties who dedicated their adult life into ground and pounding fellow scarred up smash-heads.

Chance's job is to protect clients from danger. Typically he does this not by keeping them hidden, but by putting them out in the open and catching the bad guys when they make a move. This leads to humorous conversations, like the following: "What? You want me to walk into the crowded mall, with a bomb strapped to my chest, even though we know for sure that my crazy ex-husband is holding the detonator?"

"Don't worry, ma'am. I'm a professional."

Then he smirks. And by smirk, I mean no mere tug on the side of his mouth. If there were a god of smirks, it would be Christopher Chance. He's created his own language, one made up entirely of smirk. And a Chance smirk can mean anything from, "You know I can shoot that gun out of your hand," to, "Don't worry about it, ma'am. This one's on me, and in five minutes, so will you."

But Chance doesn't work alone. The best heroes have a sidekick, and the best around--Chance, who's never gonna let you down--has two. Winston (Chi McBride) is his frowning and sarcastic partner, an ex-cop turned detective type who you may recognize from a similar role on Pushing Daisies. There's also Guerrero (Jackie Earle Haley), a tough guy who's called upon for especially tricky missions, and man, he annoys the hell out of me. Pockmocked and sporting a surfer haircut and handlebar mustache, he looks like someone glued Owen Wilson's scalp on Danny Trejo. Winston and Guerrero don't get along, and when they fight I usually side with Winston, since Pushing Daisies is one of my favorite shows, and Guerrero's face reminds me of the kind of public toilet seat that you want to wipe down and then cover with no less than two sanitary paper toilet seat covers.

Human Target has a good sense of adventure, especially the first season, where one week Chance would go undercover in a Canadian monastery hidden deep in a pine forest to recover a hidden relic, and the next go blow up some South-American warlord who kidnapped a feisty freedom fighter. I also like that it doesn't take itself too seriously. The good guys get roughed up, but no one gets killed or tortured or anything. The action scenes are better filmed than some movies, and there's a lot of entertaining dialog between the main characters during the slow parts. Even if you don't like the usual action shows out there, give Human Target a try for some lighthearted (but never silly) fun.


Older content available in the archive.
© 1999-2013 Bucket Bros. All rights reserved.