Bucket Bros: The Carpenters of Comedy

A New Perspective on Gaming

By Mars | 2009-04-05

In 1978 an overhead scrolling game called Atari Football was released.

Atari Football

In 1981 3D Monster Maze introduced the world to the first person perspective.

3D Monster Maze

Also in 81 Jump Bug Introduced side scroling and vertical scrolling technology from a side perspective.

Jump Bug

Zaxxon was isometric in 82.

Zaxxon

No one will call Space harrier anything but a rail shooter but still it invented the third person perspective in 1985. Earlier games have been called Third Person but seem Isometric to me.

Space Harrier

In 2009, all these perspectives, all these Video Game Views are around 30 years old but unless you make your game FPC - First Person Crap, it's labled retro. Insanity.

So since all types of video game views are old and tired lets pretend everything except the first person crap is new and hip.

Buy New Super Mario Bros.

New Super Mario Bros.

Buy Shining Tears.

Shining Tears

Buy whatever this is.

Weird Game

And stop buying Halo and shitty First Person Crap games like it.

No seriously stop buying first person games I don't care if you have to go to garage sales to track down super nintendo games, send a message.

Super Mario Bros.

No more first person crap. I don't care if it's a first person real time rpg (If those even exist... Doom/RPG is more accurate than action rpg or rpg for a game like Oblivion)

It's like i'm watching an old cartoon and a mad scientist has brainwashed gaming, replacing two player simultaneous with twenty player "Simultaneous" As if I give a shit about twenty strangers I'm just trying to play a fucking video game with an actual friend what the fuck man? What the FUCK?

Ballz
BallZ.

Look I want games like Secret of Mana Super Mario Bros 1. Sim City. Shit I can sink my teeth into games that play different games that play awesome.

Secret of Mana

Sim City

Sadly an overwhelming number of games are in gun shooting based first person perspective which seldom offers a turn based rpg, city builder game, or anything else but a gun or maybe a sword shoved two inches from you line of sight. I mean who even holds a weapon like these first person guys? they're gonna poke their eyes out.

Oblivion

And again alot of these titles have no actual multiplayer mode unless you count online "play" and I don't. Like just about everyone else, I've never made an actual friend playing an online "Community" game so these games are pretty much single player + lag. Wee.

In conclusion 1st person games cater to very young players who don't remember two people playing in a room being a standard option (Before online multiplayer became a long standing fad.) don't rember real rpg's, god games, 4X, Adventure, Action RPG, or any of the other dead genres outsold time and again by first person crap or maybe a GTA clone. Yay.

Saint's Row

A new perspective on gaming. Anyting but first person. You're welcome.

- Mars

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