Bucket Bros: The Carpenters of Comedy
Johnny Mnemonic (1995) Review
Beef and Mac Movie Cops
Oh sure, Johnny makes it look like he's helping the Lo Teks, but when they get distracted, he goes back to playing Candy Crush Saga on Facebook.
BEEF: #JohnnyMnemonic Oh my God, I have almost half a terabyte of data in my head, in a hard drive, so now shit's going to get real real, real quick. There's a special place in my heart for the magic, the wonderment, the earth-bound space opera that is Johnny Mnemonic. Truly, it is one of the greatest movies of all time, and goldurnit, if you don't agree with me, cheese and rice. Shut the front door. #CHEESEANDRICE #SHUTTHEFRONTDOOR
Club promoter Udo Kier has gone all out.
MAC: Newark's hottest club is Mnemonic. It's got everything. Neon lights, laser whips, Yakuza, transgeishas, crypto-dolphins, and a hulking cybernetic Jesus. What's a hulking cybernetic Jesus? That's when Dolph Lundgruen kills career by playing a religious street samurai. The first half of the movie is a non-stop series of awesome sci-fi cheese. Sadly, the movie goes downhill once it trades neon nightclubs for the barrens of Newark. Don't get me wrong, the Street Preacher is great, and the Lo Teks are like Double Dragon's Power Corps with dredlocks. But if the first half of Johnny Mnemonic is The Matrix, then the second half is Matrix Reloaded. And the ending, with the dolphin? Shit, I don't even know. Maybe Cloud Atlas, or Speed Racer, or something.
"I like this movie better than The Matrix. There, I said it. It's funny. It's colorful. It's based on a William Gibson story. It didn't have to ask permission from the director of Ghost in the Shell for permission to continue filming due to plagiarism, as admitted on the Matrix DVD." -- Beef
BEEF: Whether I'm teaming up with a dolphin to save the world, transcending to a bleak, virtual future where nothing is real and everything is sacred, or pretending this is a really fucked up end to the Bill & Ted Trilogy, I have a tingly neck hair twinge of nostalgia for #MOTHERLOVINGJOHNNYMNEMONIC
Everyone was excited about the Oculus Rift, but that was before they knew about being surrounded by a thousand tiny Ice-T faces.
MAC: Johnny is a data courier who trades in his childhood memories to make enough brain-space to carry corporate contraband. In a neat twist, Johnny's lost memories hold no dark secrets or stunning revelations. He simply wants them back, for the same reason someone would try to regain a pawned-off heirloom of sentimental value. Speaking of childhood memories, this used to be one of my favorite movies. It and In The Mouth of Madness were the first two VHS tapes I ever bought myself. I guess what I'm saying is, this is one childhood memory I wouldn't trade for anything, not even room service.
"I want room service!"
—Beef and Mac, Movie Cops | @RealBucketBros | Email
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