Bucket Bros: The Carpenters of Comedy

Twilight 2012 Campaign

By Mars | 2012-08-01

Mars takes a humorous look at the 2012 Presidential Campaign, drawing comparisons to the Twilight films to make you laugh.

Barack VS Mitt is alot like Jacob VS Edward in the book/movie series Twilight.

01

Mitt Romney is your classic Jacob. A masculine man's man who has a chin to die for and a dark, tormented love of an occult cabal. A werewolf clan in Jacob's case, Bain Capital for Mitt.

Mitt wants to look after Lady Liberty just as much as Jacob wants to look after Bella Swan. Mormons like Mitt once didn't mind keeping multiple wives, Jacob once didn't mind being one of Bella's multiple boyfriends.

02

They both have split personalities as hideous, ungodly monsters.

Or take Barack Obama and Edward Cullen. Both secretly over a hundred years old, both married to women far less attractive and charismatic than they are. They both seem very ackward and stiff -- Edward due to undeath, Barack due to college.

03

Barack is the first black president. Edward would be the second vampire president, predated by Richard Nixon. The Volturi clan have a death panel to take care of vampiric infidels, and Barack Hussein Obama is no stranger to death panels himself.

Both are an affront to Gods plan. They both have very nice hair.

Like Edward fighting for Bella's heart, Barack will win his country's support in the end.

Like Jacob, Mitt will be stuck playing shirtless basketball to pass the time.

— Mars (Email the Bucket Bros)


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